Friday, January 22, 2010

A Couple of Trueisms

I can't seem to remember to pick up the dog's water dish each day, BEFORE one of my girls has dumped it all over the floor.

No matter how many toys I pick up off the floor, there are more toys to pick up.

Upon initial investigation, Max is never guilty of anything.

If something is missing, look outside the doggy door first.

If Brooke is screaming and crying, Lauren has two of something in her possession.

If You Were a Fly on the Wall

If you were a fly on the wall, at my house...


Lauren: (walks in the living room with an empty bathroom wipes box).
Me: "Box! You have a box!"
Lauren: (hands the box to me).
Me: (looking around for a toy to put in the box for her...seeing a small figurine of Woody from the Disney/Pixar movie Toy Story laying on the floor) "Here's a Woody for your box!" (realizing what I've just said to my 1 1/2 year old daughter, looking around sheepishly to see if anyone noticed).

Max is learning to read, therefore sounding out various words throughout the day. My husband overhears him in the bathroom...
Max: "T"..."A"..."M"..."P"..."O"..."N"...


Me: (scratching my leg...something my husband always tells me to stop)
Max: "Stop scratching!"
Me: "Why?"
Max: "When Daddy's not here, I'm the boss!"


Max and I were laying on the bed, watching some television and he takes both hands and starts shaking my stomache...
Me: "You know, mommy used to have a skinny, flat belly."
Max: "I like your squishy belly. I don't want you to have a skinny belly."

Max was watching the cartoon "Happily Never After," and the main villain, a woman, was wearing a very clingy outfit. His face lights up and he shouts out: "BOOBS!"
.....like father, like son.


Recently, I assigned the "Baby Got Back" song as a ringtone for someone on my cellphone. I've also been singing it to the kids to make them laugh. This morning, Max was absentmindedly singing it himself:
Max: "I like big, fat butts!!! Big, fat, squishy butts! I can't lie!"....sigh.